Mome Rath Outgrabe: Jojo's Webventure

Contents

Welcome from Johana

Welcome to my homepage. I am curious to decide how I use this to express myself. It seems I never have enough constraints on my own web page to be able to create anything. So to address that, I will begin to propose some arbitrary constraints to this page.

Constraints:

  1. This is the only page.
  2. It is always edited entirely by hand.
  3. It contains only html and css.

Complaints

My complaint is that for years, decades even, I have come back to working on my home page, or rather re-started such a project again and again. And I never get past this stage.

Creative Concerns

  1. This page
  2. Discordian Tarot Deck
  3. Alternative to...
  4. Love is the Game is Death
  5. Writing
  6. Writing Exile
  7. Quikskript
  8. What next

Design Delights

I'm excited about this design. I hope it's obvious it's inspired by the multi-columnar layout of classifieds or personal ad sections of newspapers or the yellow-pages of days of yore. I'm might keep searching for font colour and other design elements to convey that effect.

For the Jolog or Jojo-blog I would like to use it to display directories with a 'personal ad' box for each md file in the directory.

The Trouble with Interesting Things

This project is interesting. It's engaging and stimulating and that's the problem. Just like a dozen other interesting activities I have lined up in my head to keep working on right now. When will it ever stop!!

Go Home

Go home now. I mean it! I think. Or should I? I can never remember which course of action is the one I will tell myself later I should have taken!

Old Paper Texture

Try to make the website look more reminiscent of old news paper or yellow pages by placing a transparent image of paper texture over the text layer. This should give the impression of faded words. Maybe.

The Safecracker's Lament

I stayed late last night at the office trying to crack the safe. It was difficult. It was long and hard. I was ready to give up but it finally cracked and damn it if it didn't get sticky yoke all over my fingers. After collecting the loot, I walked over its broken shells to make my getaway. I had a parking ticket. So to throw off the shades I picked another car at random and tried to hotwire it. Again clumsiness dogged my heels and plagued my fingers. I heated the wires so badly that my fingers merged with the steering wheel. I quickly drove to the safe house. But when I got there I couldn't leave the car until I had skipped dessert enough times and gotten
hungry to chew my fingers out of the wheel. I tried to get into the safe house using the password. But it went through me like a laser beam and they spilled my guts over to anyone who would listen. I could tell the heat was coming down. So I bundled up and went to ground. I decide to lay low in the dark of Summer. Next morning, high in the winter's light, I realized I was going to need to get out of dodging a bullet. I wanted to ride out of town on the horse I came in on but it had melted too. I hitchhiked Chevy to the levee to try to get myself a new horse. I saw a man. There was one---actually there were two. They were really nice horses. But they had not yet hatched or shed
any blossoms. It was going to be a week before they chewed through their seed sack and sprouted colorfilia. And I didn't have a week. Honestly, I don't think anyone really understands or can empathize with the things I go through. Obviously I would like to contribute more but I can't afford to blow my cover. Those things only come around two or three times tops. Then it's gone forever. But this is the kind of thinking that got me in debt in the first place behind the eight ball running for mayor in the grocery store of broken echoes. At times like these I like to dust off my sorrows, wave "I don't think so" to the good times, and greet dark deadly dawn with a song in my vulva. Don't pity me. I'd rather that you learn from me, and by learning emulate and by emulating devour. But don't do me any favors. Don't do any favors. Don't do anything. It's too late.

Design Challenge

For the JojoBlog site I have to meet the challenge of programming the script to find content in the directories and take frontmatter from each md file.